One of my favorite books growing up was The Red Balloon. It’s about a little boy in a bleak Paris neighborhood, who finds a magic, sentient and insistent red balloon. It follows him everywhere. The adults in the book treat the little boy with a severity bordering on outright cruelty. Ladies on the street push him and his balloon out of their way. His mother tosses the balloon out of the apartment window. The principal of his school locks him in a shed for bringing the balloon to class. In the end a bunch of cruel boys destroy the balloon with rocks. Despite all of this, what shines in my memory is the boy finding pleasure in his indifferent little world when he enters a small boulangerie and buys a cupcake. And just like that, for a brief moment, his scowling gray universe is relieved by sweets. I had a cupcake moment here in Mexico just the other day. And a churro moment too. I have them in New York all the time. Sometimes you just need to seek out a small private pleasure to counter all the little hurts a day can bring. The rest will come to you if you open yourself to it.
This recipe was originally supposed to be another mini cake attempt, but they looked so good as cupcakes, I left them that way. I went for vanilla this time and when it came time to come up with a filling I considered vanilla butter cream (next time I’ll do the tops that way), but I KNEW it had to be cannoli cream! The combination of vanilla and cannoli cream is one of life’s great treats. These cupcakes are moist and the icing and filling is not sweet at all because it’s ricotta cheese-based rather than sugar-based. If you refrigerate the frosting it holds up a little better and I kind of love how the bitter-sweet chocolate chips add texture and depth of flavor. I will definitely be making these again.
I’m back in Mexico City for another couple of weeks for work. This time I seem to be all alone and I have to say, I was worried at first. However, a secret piece of me knew that I have come to enjoy my own company. It’s an opportunity to submit to my natural sense of wonder. I was afraid that my default disposition was that of contemplative woe. It might be, but I had to cultivate an inner strength and a positive inner monologue when I first moved to New York City to start law school. I knew no one but my boyfriend (now husband), and oddly, I went to a Jesuit school so sleepovers weren’t really an option. I spent most days and nights alone. I ate out alone, saw movies and ballets alone, negotiated the world alone. If you submit to the pessimist inside, you won’t end up in a good place. So I changed the monologue.
Now I am savoring the alone time, even though I really want to share. This little trip is a return to that world of self with no one to accommodate. So what’s going through my mind as I take it all in? Some pride in having cultivated the ability to appreciate my own company. But also, the idea that I’m right in the middle of things. Having company fosters the kind of thinking that keeps you in the present and helps you look toward the future with a kind of excitement. But being a spectator more than a participant in a country where I have no ties has me reflecting in parsed sentences and a string of imperfect verbs. I’m thinking about how intricately wrought clauses in the past tense will stretch toward the future and I appreciate the precious nature of time. Heavy for a post on cupcakes, I know. #Tranquilizate!
The city is slowly casting its magic spell on me. The nights here gleam. Every minute I spend here changes me in a fundamental way. And again I realize the best of both worlds is having these stolen moments, but letting a deeper desire feed your choices and knowing that there’s a home, in another city, in another person and that all of your experiences are only a part of the measure of who you are. I intend to come home with my heart both full and broken. That’s how we are to live.
VANILLA BEAN CANNOLI CUPCAKES
Ingredients:
For the cupcakes:
- 1 1/4 cups cake flour or Canadian bleached all-purpose flour
- 1 1/4 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 2 large eggs
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract or the seeds from 1.5 vanilla beans
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- 1/2 cup buttermilk
For the Cannoli Cream:
- 2 cups ricotta cheese
- 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
- 2 tablespoons finely chopped bittersweet chocolate chips
Directions:
For the cupcakes:
Preheat the oven to 350 °F and line a cupcake/muffin pan with cupcake liners.
In a medium bowl, whisk together 1 1/4 cups cake flour (or Canadian flour), 1 1/4 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp baking soda and 1/2 tsp salt. Set flour mix aside.
In another bowl, beat 2 eggs. Add 3/4 cup sugar and continue to beat. Add vanilla and oil.
Slowly add about half of the flour mixture. Add half of the buttermilk, then the rest of the flour mix and the rest of the milk. Beat until just combined and smooth, scraping down the sides of the mixing bowl. The batter should be thin.
Pour batter into a lined muffin pan. Fill to about 1/2 full.
Bake for 12 -14 minutes at 350 °F. Let them cool in the pan for a couple minutes, then remove. When completely cool, fill and ice.
For the Filling and Icing:
With a large wooden or metal spoon, mix the ricotta, confectioners’ sugar and chocolate chips in a medium bowl until combined. Refrigerate until slightly hardened so it’s easier to work with.
Assembly:
When cupcakes are cool cut a small hole the size of an apple core in each cupcake and fill with the cannoli cream. You can do this using a piper or a plastic bag with the tip cut off. Pipe a small amount of icing on the entire surface of the cupcake and spread. Top with chocolate chips and/or toasted almonds. Buen provecho!
Scenes from Mexico City:
These sound amazing! I had no idea what went into cannoli cream until now. It might just be one of my most favourite things!
Thanks so much! I really love cannoli cream. I actually had it in my wedding cake. #obsessed! It’s not too hard to make!
I love your story, I know exactly what you mean. And I´ve fallen in love with the boy in the book from your description, I think I need it for my kids ( and myself). Your sweet escape cupcakes seem just the right answer ! They look and sound heavenly, Amanda!
Thank you, Sabine. I think the book was an adaptation of the movie. He is such a sweet little boy. Thanks for your thoughtful comment as always. I didn’t realize you had more than one kid? How old are they?
Yes, I have two. My son Benjamin is 3 years old, and my baby daughter will be 1 in June!
Awww happy birthday. Very cute!
Cannoli cream, how interesting. Is this the usual filling for cannoli? I never had them and thought it was cream. Yummy. N xx
Oh yes. Cannoli cream is made with cheese. Sometimes heavy cream can go into it but really it’s the cheese that gives it is unique flavor.
Uh, I really not to try some cannoli next time and of course these pretty cupcakes. Lovely Mexico pictures again, Amanda, I hope you have so much fun. N
Thank you so much, Nicole! Work hard play hard is my motto!
I love the idea of the heart being both full and broken at the same time. And your photos show that–the broken eggs and the full, rich cupcakes. Very poetic!
Thank you so much. It’s really how i feel. The cupcakes really do make your day sometimes ; (
Yes. Baking something sweet can be the best antidote for difficult days. Take care!
You too 😉
I loved this post. I’m drawn to your reflective style of writing, I think. Honesty is nice to read. I’ve always been comfortable with my own company, and it actually saddens me a little bit that I don’t see more people dining out or in the cinema alone, etc etc. While I like my own company, I haven’t yet managed to conjure up quell that somewhat less-than-positive inner sphere. But I still manage to wring enough amusement out of the world… Just! Ha. These cakes look great. I’m not usually a fan of cupcakes, too sweet for me, but that cannoli cream sounds perfect. What a great idea!
Thanks so much, Karinna. Your comments are so thoughtful. I think the positive inner monologue is like learning a language. You have to keep using it and sometimes you forget. I’m glad you like spending time alone too. I don’t love sweets either but this is just the perfect balance. Have a wonderful weekend!
Cannolis are my all time favorite dessert and I really, really like cupcakes too…guess I would be head over heels for these. 🙂 They look delectable!
Lovely narrative as well… learning “alone” doesn’t necessarily mean “lonely” was one of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself!
Very beautiful sentiment and im glad you discovered that. It’s a great life lesson. And i love cannolis too!
Gorgeous photos and recipe. Now that is a cupcake.
Thanks, Jovina!!
‘a return to that world of self with no one to accommodate’…What a beautiful way to describe the unsettling, yet exhilarating, experience of leaving, temporarily, the sanctuary of your relationship, city, life…I understand.
Your pictures of Mexico are so evocative of this sentiment.
Thank you so much, Anna. Well put. It really is a sanctuary. Sometimes leaving it makes you realize that. Xo
Oh my goodness..looks delicipus.. I haven’t heard about canoli cream you showed me how ignorant am I
Thank you dear! Not ignorant. It’s a very Italian cream and it isn’t common everywhere!
What lovely cupcakes! And, you know, I like traveling alone. I wouldn’t want to do it all the time, but it can be really nice. I am appalled at how often I hear people say that when they do business travel they just eat in their hotel rooms. What are they, insane?
So funny! I totally agree. I really hate hotel room eating. It’s sad. Mexico City has some the best restaurants I’ve ever eaten at, especially in condesa, Roma and Polanco. Not to mention downtown and street food. No way re hotel room!
Well you know me, no lover of cakes, but your cup cakes did remind me of a friend’s birthday cake in Barcelona two years ago which was delicious, all down to cannoli cream!
I had to watch the Red Balloon all the way through – I know Paris really well, but it’s so nice to see it in the 50s with almost no cars.
I hope you are having the very best time in Mexico 😉
Thanks, MD. I did think of you as i started making these. It actually occurred to me that MD is going to hate this. They really are wonderful. I’m doing well here and only have a few days left is this trip. Lots of good work and eating. I went to the market today and you would have loved it. The pics are mostly unpostable, but if you click on some of the instagram pics you’ll see pics from the market today. Carcasses and all.
Cool – that sounds like my kind of market!
Amanda , what a lovely post, besides the sweetness of Cannoli’s I so much enjoyed the “Red Balloon” , it was my first movie as a child and I ever loved it, such a artistic movie back than and still today. Thank you , you brought some childhood memories back for me.
Thanks so much for reading and for your beautiful comment. It was such a beautiful movie and the pastry part is what i think of when i need a pick me up. So glad you liked it too. Such a classic. It’s always great to hear from you, Cornelia.
I have to ask Her Majesty about this book! She devours books so she might have read it in school. She would love to eat your beautiful and creamy cupcakes! She adores cannoli cream! I have a very old family cannoli recipe that I haven’t tried yet. The challenge will be to find some sheep’s ricotta in my neck of the woods!
Oh francesca that sounds so good! You must make those and send! The book is an adaptation of the movie and it’s so cute. These cupcakes and the book are really grownup treats disguised well so that kids like them too 😉
I see more Kahlo 🙂 Great pictures, Amanda–so vibrant.You’ll treasure these travels forever. And the cupcakes? Oh my goodness. Divine. Love that you have “cupcake moments.” It’s all about getting pleasure out of the smallest things.
I so agree about the small moments and that’s so much a part of your blog too. A drink here or a recipe there. It all helps to make things better and more fun.
Amanda, I want these cupcakes!!! Cannoli are my favorite!! This is just amazing <3
Mine too! Thanks so much, Chaya.
Stunning post – your words resonate and I rememebr The Red Balloon. I think there was a film too, made in Black and White with just the pop of colour of The Red Balloon. Beautiful recipe and now I need to go and make cannoli cream!
Thanks so much, Chica. The book was adapted from the movie. I kind of want to make these cupcakes again right now. I hope you’re doing well.
I love a good cupcake recipe and the pictures and story you share make this an awesome read. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. A cupcake can turn a day around.
Such beautiful art and inspiration and those cupcakes look amazing! I have company over all the time but I agree that some time to balance yourself is always a good thing. Haha #Tranquilizate!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment Mary Frances. I think everything in life is about finding a balance. Xo
Oh my goodness Amanda, sounds like you have a huge life changing experience happening right now. Mexico?! You have to be completely loving life! I’ve been out of touch far too long and look forward to reading more about your discoveries and experiences. Gorgeous photographs and delicious cupcakes! I love The Red Balloon too!
Thanks, seana!!! It’s always nice to see you and life pulls you in a million unexpected directions so no worries. It’s been an interesting project for work and definitely alters your perspective. … but not in a bad way. By changing your reality it makes your priorities more clear.
Did I know and then forget that you’re also a lawyer here in NY or did I seriously never know this until now? Shameful, but I’m so happy that we’re kindred spirits! These cannoli cupcakes sound out of this world good, and I love your reflective prose so much. Working in Mexico City sounds like an adventure and a half for all sorts of reasons and you’ve captured so much of what it feels like to be in a new place on your own. Loved reading this so much 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, Cynthia! I don’t think i ever really said it. I was afraid to talk about one world (work) in the other (blog) and vice versa but honestly you deal with the work life balance so well and upfront(ly) on your blog (is that a real adverb?) that you inspired me to be more candid about it. It’s part of who we are so own it. It is amazing to find a kindred spirit in Internet land! You are totally an inspiration. As for travel, it’s been very cool and shines a new lens on things. Happy hump day!
im in love with these. its such a great idea. you’re so talented
Thanks so much, Kelsey. You are too kind 🙂
I came here earlier, read the story and the recipe. I was so overwhelmed that I could not write any comment. I was reminded of a friend from my University days who used to talk like this with a lot of content. I am back again and I love these cupcakes! Enjoyed your thoughts and those lovely pictures!
Thank you so much. I’m glad you cane back, though you didn’t have to. That happens to me sometimes. I do know that just because i don’t comment doesn’t mean I’m not reading 😉 xo
emmmm,…nice picture
amazing
Thanks abdun!
oke,…
pleased read your post
Cream sounds interesting,I love ur clicks,especially the boating photos
Cannoli cream is so good! Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!
Amazing photos, Amanda!
I’ve heard of the red balloon book but don’t think I’ve ever read it. I shall have to seek it out as it sounds very lovely 🙂 I have a little niece who would no doubt enjoy it too.
These cupcakes look delicious. Cannoli cream is a new one for me but I love the idea as a change from over-rich buttercream or drippy glacé icing.
Have a happy time on your travels!
Thank you, trixpin! It’s always so nice to hear from you. I’m really surprised that cannoli cream isn’t as present around the world as it is here in ny. I can’t get enough.
How impressive is your new website. Lovely pictures and recipes.
Thanks, Maria!
Beautiful story and lovely photos. I love the tree with purple flowers and the gorgeous white Calla lilies. Seeing photos of people selling food on a boat makes me think of Thailand. And your cupcakes are absolutely luscious! Thanks for sharing, Amanda. Have a lovely Easter!
That you so much, Anna. Your comments are always so thoughtful. 😉